Compromise

In my previous post, I have been saying that I don't understand. I realized now that I really have to understand. I really have to understand. I really have to be understanding.

I realized that I need to be understanding even though its really hard to because I'm the eldest. It is not my parents sole responsibility to care for my brothers. I have to be there to guide them along the way and correct their mistakes so that they would grow up as good children.

I noticed that it is hard to deal with my brother because I think he has some minor problems regarding his attitude. It is not a serious problem but I need to be there to guide him and lead him in the right way. If I become a bad child to my parents, I can't be there to be a good elder sister to my younger brothers. I need to broaden up my mind and be more understanding.

Yes, there are misunderstandings between me and my parents. Yes, I don't understand them at times and maybe they could not understand me too. The thing is, we just have to meet each other halfway, they must try to understand me at the same time I must also try to understand them. This is what I think is called "compromise". You have to give way for each other. It is not always the case that what you both want would be granted, so you must meet each other halfway so that what you want might be partially granted and all is well between the two of you. When you love someone, you don't only think about yourselves, you think about them too. I think my parents really just think about me too much, and I think about them too. I love them too as much as they love me so I guess I should try to understand them...

I am usually a positive person. I just became negative these past few days. I took a day off (from my friends and organization) and bonded with my mom and dad. My dad and I fetched mama from the airport so we just spent time talking in the car. I became happy...

I guess I should stay positive again. I'm really positive most of the time and it helps me a lot. You know, I really believed that there was a good side in everything. There is a positive side in everything. Sometimes we notice the negative side because it hurts us but in the other hand, there is a positive side that we could notice in the long run. Things happen for a reason. I guess bad things may be happening now because there is a good outcome that is yet to come. For the bad things that happened lately, there really is a good thing that came from it. I learned and I became a stronger and better person.

However it may seem impossible at times that our parents scold us and become unreasonable, the truth is: THEY REALLY LOVE US. And we should never forget that. Do not forget that somebody loves you because sometimes they became irrational, unreasonable or whatnot... But the truth is: they really love us and we should never forget that. Let's have faith in them and let's have faith in ourselves.

♥♥♥

lovelovelove, eLise.

♥♥♥

Di ko na maintindihan. :\

Hay. Di ko na maintindihan ang lahat ng nangyayari dito sa buhay.

Alam niyo yung magigising kayo sa umaga, kakain, tas bigla ko lang matatanong kung lalabas ba kami o pwede ba akong lumabas sandali lang kasi kailangan ko lang puntahan yung friend ko, di naman ako nagpipilit na umalis talaga.. bigla akong tatarayan at sasabihing...

"Bakit ba puro labas lang nasa isip mo? Pwede bang magstay put ka na lang dito sa bahay tumulong ka manlang?" (with matching taray effect)

Gets ko naman na gusto nila akong magstay sa bahay naman kasi lagi akong nasa school pero bakit ganun, bakit ang taray taray tas parang ang dating pa ay labas na lang ako ng labas na hindi naman talaga. Parang yun lang ung nasa isip ko, makapaggala. At parang hindi naman ako tumutulong ever sa bahay sa tono ng pananalita nila. Bakit ganun, bakit feeling ko mali nalang lagi yung ginagawa ko at lahat nalang ng napapansin ay yung mali.

Sabi naman nila, you don't expect someone to praise you for doing good kasi you're expected to do good. Pero yung mga kapatid ko naman pine-praise nila. hindi naman sa nagseselos ako pero.. Alam niyo yun, pwede namang hindi puro yung mali nalang yung pinapansin, kasi it sounds like puro mali nalang yung ginagawa ko eh.

Di ko lang alam pero parang nobody appreciates it kung mag do well ako sa acads, siguro kasi expected na akong mag-do well. Alam niyo yung feeling na kung yung ibang tao masaya na sa pagpasa sa Chem 17, ako kahit pumasa ako at parang mataas na yung score ko parang, wala, that's expected of you, Elise. Sana maperfect mo na next time. Sana 100% na next time.

Pag tumutulong ako sa bahay, I don't expect na mapraise. Di ko rin naman pinapakita sa kanila na "o, tumutulong ako ngayon.." I do it kahit wala sila.. Tas syempre kasi hindi nila nakikita, para sakanila wala akong ginagawa. Parang ganun yata eh. Tas ewan ko lang. Parang pag pinapagalitan nila ako... "tumulong ka naman dito..." sorry na kung hindi ako masyadong nakakatulong... Inaamin ko it may look like hindi ako nakakatulong... Pero I'm trying to do daily tasks naman tulad ng pagchecheck ng homework ng kapatid ko..

Kapag gumagawa naman ako ng org stuff for the youth, o mga extracurricular activities... Kung ano ano daw inaatupag kong distractions...

Ang ayoko lang talaga ay yung tinatarayan ako na parang ang dami dami kong ginagawang masama. Pwede naman akong makausap ng maayos bakit kailangang tarayan ako diba?

Tsaka ano bang masama sa pag-labas naman minsan sa bahay, hindi naman ako labas ng labas for no reason. May mga gusto lang ako puntahan o kailangang gawin, andito naman ako pag sunday o sa gabi. I cancel all my activities pag sunday para kasama ko sila, bakit pag saturday hindi ba ako pwedeng sumaglit sa friends ko?

Isa pang ayokong nangyari recently ay una, ayaw nilang maniwala sa akin at pangalawa, kung ano anong dinadamay nilang issue sa isang issue na pinag-uusapan namin. Halimbawa na lang...

Nung isang araw nakita nilang hinatid ako ng isang friend. Pinagpipilitan nilang kami daw. Kasi nga lagi kaming magkasama kasi close friend ko siya. Pero ang totoo, kahit lagi ko siyang kasama HINDI KAMI. Bawal naman kasi akong magkaron ng boyfriend at ayokong magalit sila. Ang sabi nila sakin sabihin ko nalang daw yung totoo, kung sabihin kong oo, okay lang pero malulungkot sila. Pag sinabi kong hindi, nagsisinungaling daw ako, nakakatawa daw ako sabi ng nanay ko. So anong gusto nila? Sabihin kong oo, kahit hindi? Para hindi ako "sinungaling"? Tas malulungkot naman sila? Ano ba talagang gusto nila? Hindi sila naniniwala sakin, katawa-tawa daw ako.... Jusko, mismo kong mga magulang ayaw maniwala sakin. Ilang ulit ko bang sasabihin na hindi nga, hindi nga, alam kong ayaw nila at ayokong magalit sila sa akin kaya hindi ako makikipagboyfriend. Haynako.

Pangalawa, pagkatapos nila akong awayin ng ganun sa umaga, bagong gising ako at papasok pa ako ng math.... Bigla pa nilang sinabi na, hindi ako sasama sa Iloilo, (sa camp ng psy)... at hindi na ako magddrive. WHAAAAAAAAAAT?! Ano ba kasing kinalaman nun?! Hindi naman kasi kasama yung friend ko sa iloilo at ano bang koneksyon niya sa pagddrive?! Kasi daw late na ako umuuwi. 7 pm naman yung curfew ko at umuuwi naman ako before 7. sinasagad ko daw yung 7, maximum daw yun hindi ibig sabihin laging 7. Hindi ko naman sinasagad eh. May mga kailangan lang ako gawin. High school pa naman tlga ako mahilig magpagabi ng mga 6-7 pm pero ngayong college nagkakaissues sila. Ewan ko bakit. Feeling siguro talaga nila may boyfriend ako. How I wish meron no? Pero wala nga eh. Nakakainis na masyado ah...

Ayun lang. FRUSTRATED na talaga kasi ako. Define. Gusto ko nang umiyak kasi ang bigat na sa pakiramdam. How I wish I could tell this to them... Sana nababasa nila to... O sana hindi. Ewan ko. I'm tired...

Kaya nga sigurong gusto kong nasa labas ng bahay... Kasi ayoko na dito sa loob... Wahhhhhhhhh. :\

Emo mode nanaman ako.

Note lang ha.. Siguro madalas niyo akong nakikitang masaya at nakatawa pero sensitive talaga ako. I just hide my feelings in there kasi ayokong maging malungkot.. Pero deep inside pag mag-isa ako, nalulungkot talaga ako at gusto kong umiyak parang ngayon. Hay.

Salamat nalang talaga at may friends ako na sinusubukan akong patawanin kahit na di nila alam bakit ako malungkot.. :) Maraming salamat. :)

♥♥♥

lovelovelove, eLise.

♥♥♥

Tired.

I feel tired.

Minsan nararamdaman ko ang ganitong mga bagay bagay. Minsan, pakiramdam ko pagod na ako. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ako pagod. Minsan feeling ko lang talaga pagod na ako at parang biglang ayoko na, ayoko na. Gusto kong pigilan yung sarili ko... Pigilan yung sarili ko... Parang gusto kong mag shut down at wag na muna magparamdam. Ang weird lang ng nasa utak ko. Di ko alam kung bakit ko naiisip ang ganitong mga bagay bagay. Masaya naman ako pero may mga little things na nagpapapagod sakin. Di ko talaga maexplain kung ano... Alam kong dapat hindi naman ako napapagod.. Dapat nananatili akong masaya... Pero ewan ko kung bakit minsan malungkot lang talaga ako....Hindi ko alam...

Ano kayang gagawin ko.. Ano bang dapat kong gawin... Tama na ba muna?

Pero masaya naman ako kapag ano... Pero kasi parang ayokong malungkot kapag matagal kaming nagkahiwalay.. Pero... Ayokong malungkot... Hindi ko alam kung anong nangyayari sakin...

Wala naman talaga atang dahilan to. baka may namimiss lang ako. Ewan... Ugh.

Well, just a lesson I SHOULD HAVE learned...

People come and go. You just have to make the most of every time you have with them...

And for that, Elise. Stop being emo.

Haha. Hi guys. Okay lang ako. Okay lang talaga ako. Masaya ako.... Hehe. :)

♥♥♥

lovelovelove, eLise.

♥♥♥

Just The Way You Are

I heard this song earlier when my dad played it in his guitar. I like the song and it kept playing in my head. I just want to share it to you. :) Love is not about fulfilling our expectations or what we want from our dream guys. We love people just the way they are and not the way we want them to be. :)

Just The Way You Are
Billy Joel

Don't go changing, to try and please me
You never let me down before
Don't imagine you're too familiar
And I don't see you anymore
I wouldn't leave you in times of trouble
We never could have come this far
I took the good times, I'll take the bad times
I'll take you just the way you are

Don't go trying some new fashion
Don't change the color of your hair
You always have my unspoken passion
Although I might not seem to care

I don't want clever conversation
I never want to work that hard
I just want someone that I can talk to
I want you just the way you are.

I need to know that you will always be
The same old someone that I knew
What will it take till you believe in me
The way that I believe in you.

I said I love you and that's forever
And this I promise from the heart
I could not love you any better
I love you just the way you are.

♥♥♥

lovelovelove, eLise.

♥♥♥